Through her eyes
by QueenLavenderEyes
Summary: One shots of Sharon's relationship with Rusty and the team.
1. Chapter 1

Reloaded (Sharon)

Sharon almost bit her tongue when she realized what she had said. Joking about a mother's job might not be the right thing to do when talking to a child that had been abandoned by his mother. Seeing the hurt look on Rusty's face reminded her again that she is not talking to her children no matter how much he needs a mother. As Rusty walked to the bathroom Sharon sat back down on the couch and closed her eyes. Getting a new job and a new roommate was tiring enough when the people that you are with people that like you. Trying to win the Major Crime squads respect after years of being considered the "Ice Witch" was an uphill battle by Sharon was determined to take care of the squad that Brenda had worked so hard for. Sharon smiled to herself thinking about how the squad would act if they knew that she and Brenda had become good friends after the federal trial had ended. But as she got up to go to bed Sharon knew that she would have to be careful with Rusty in both words and actions. She just hoped that she was strong enough to be what Rusty needed right now.


	2. Chapter 2

Long Shot (Sharon)

Sharon couldn't believe the bastard had the nerve to ask why they would arrest him. How could he be so stupid even after seeing the photos of what he had done? Just the thought of the photos made Sharon want to get her gun and shoot Daniel somewhere …..very painful. She wouldn't kill him of course since that would be too soft for the monster. Her musings on all the painful ways she could make him pay was interrupted by the slam of the door as Daniel finally left. Sharon finally turned to Rusty now that she didn't feel like crying or shooting someone. She smiled as Rusty made everyone laugh about being an orphan but Sharon didn't want him to feel that way. It made her feel a little better to see his expression when she told him that he was part of her family. As the team all left for the day Sharon trailed behind every watching as they joked around and hugged Rusty. Usually Sharon would have let everyone leave without saying anything but this time she decided that it would be nice to pretend that everyone liked her for awhile. So she gathered up her courage and asked everyone to come to dinner with her and Rusty. The shock that showed on everyone's face hurt Sharon's feelings and the laughter that came after was even worse. Rusty jumped to her defense of course but the damage had been done so she told everyone to forget she said anything. As Sharon got into the car and waited for Rusty she decided that it just wasn't worth opening herself up if this was going to be the result.


	3. Chapter 3

The last word

She couldn't help the smile that came to her face as Sharon Raydor listened to the teenage boy in front of them. The look on Chief Johnson's face as this Rusty Beck mocked them on the fake phone call again almost made Sharon laugh but she knew that the major crimes squad would likely die of shock if she did. The strength of this teenager reminded Sharon of her own son so once Chief Johnson was done with her pictures Sharon took him to the break room. She got him some food but when Rusty made it clear that he didn't want her there Sharon decided to go check on Chief Johnson. A few days later Captain Raydor heard that the boy had been put into foster care and that he would be a witness against the man that attacked Brenda. From past experiences with her son Sharon knew that the foster home would not work out well and she wondered how long it would be until Rusty showed up again. Sharon didn't know why but she had the oddest feeling that the two of them would be important to each other eventually. Then she realized how silly she sounded and went to meet with Pope and Taylor.


	4. Chapter 4

The Ecstasy and the Agony

Sharon just shook her head as she watched the priest walk out of her office and close the door. She turned to Rusty just in time to see a smirk vanish from his face thanks to the glare on hers. After a few minutes of yelling at Rusty for sending the three boys to the infirmary Sharon sent to his cubical with strict instructions to think about he had done. But once she closed the doors Sharon couldn't help but laugh at the fact that Rusty had basically solved the new student curse in one day. While she had no choice but to yell at Rusty for what happened it did make Sharon happy that he was willing to stand up for himself. Now if only she could get him to stop reacting so violently and solve that little attitude problem that Rusty had going on. But Sharon had plenty of practice in that from her children so she was sure that she could help Rusty grow into the fine young man that she knew was there.


	5. Chapter 5

Christmas gifts

It was close to Christmas but Rusty still didn't know what he would be getting for Sharon. Sharon had given him money to buy Christmas presents for everyone but Rusty had decided the month before that he wanted to buy Sharon a special present with his own money. He had been doing extra jobs from the squad to earn money and Rusty finally felt like he had enough for something. The problem was that Rusty didn't know what to get her and no one on the team was of any help.

Rusty had convinced Sykes to take him to the mall and they had been wandering around for almost an hour when Rusty saw a little store with figurines in the window. Sykes went to look at the Christmas decorations while Rusty browsed the shelves. Rusty was starting to get tired of all the cutesy figurines when he saw it. The perfect gift for Sharon was just sitting on a back shelves. Rusty knew that it was not what Sharon would normally get but he had a feeling that she would love it. So Rusty picked it up and in high hopes he went to pay for it.

Christmas day seemed to take forever to arrive but finally the day came to give Sharon his gift. He woke up early to try to get to the present so that he could give it to her first but once he reached the living room Rusty saw Sharon sitting in front of the tree. She smiled at him and asked if he wanted breakfast but Rusty decided that he couldn't wait. While Sharon was getting the stockings for both of them Rusty picked up the gift that he had wrapped so carefully. Sharon laughed when he said that she had to open this gift first but she did as he asked. After carefully tearing the paper she held up her gift. It was a little pink bear figurine holding a crystal sphere in its hands. Rusty was afraid to look at Sharon because he wasn't sure she'd like it but after a moment he felt Sharon's arms around him. There were tears in her eyes but she smiled as she told him that she loved his bear. Then she got up and placed the figurine on her desk right in front of where she usually sat. Sharon and Rusty spent the rest of the day opening presents and watching Christmas movies but Rusty knew that he would never forget the best moment of this day. All it took was a little pink bear.


	6. Chapter 6

Worse things I could do

_There are worse things I could do  
Than go with a boy or two  
Even though the neighbourhood  
Thinks I'm trashy and no good  
I suppose it could be true  
But there are worse things I could do_

Sharon Raydor was used to being alone. Even when she was with Rusty Sharon knew that she couldn't just be herself. He needed a strong mother too much for her to be anything else. The worst thing that she could do to Rusty would be to show her weakness and take away the illusion that she had built for him.

_I could flirt with all the guys  
Smile at them and bat my eyes  
Press against them when we dance  
Make them think they stand a chance  
Then refuse to see it through  
That's a thing I'd never do  
_

There were plenty of guys at work that Sharon found attractive. But she had a reputation for coldness so none of the guys even gave her a second glace. Sharon spent her days at work seeing others flirt and have fun but she could never join in. It was already difficult for her to gain respect from her coworkers without being viewed in a romantic light. But just once Sharon wanted to flirt with a guy and feel like she was still attractive to men.

_I could stay home every night  
Wait around for mister right  
Take cold showers everyday  
And throw my life away  
On a dream that won't come true  
_

She didn't want to go home. Rusty was at a friend's house so Sharon knew that once she got home she would be alone. The emptiness of her home pushed home the loneliness of being a single woman. At least when Rusty was home she could pretend that her role as mother kept her from being lonely. The quiet of the apartment cut through her so harshly that she considered going out to a bar. She didn't have to do anything but at least she wouldn't be alone for awhile. But Sharon's responsibility kept her from taking that step and she went to bed. At least while she slept she wouldn't think of anything.

_I could hurt someone like me  
Out of spite or jealousy  
I don't steal and I don't lie  
But I can feel and I can cry  
A fact I'll bet you never knew  
But to cry in front of you  
That's the worst thing I could do_

There was a new woman at work the next day. Sharon saw the way that her coworkers looked at the new woman and it was clear that this woman would be very popular in the coming days. But Sharon could also see the loneliness in the woman's eyes. She knew that it would be easy to make the woman feel bad about herself. All it would take would be a few carefully chosen words and Sharon could make her hurt just as much as Sharon was hurting. The thought of doing so made Sharon feel sick to her stomach. No one deserved that no matter how much pain Sharon was in. So Sharon spent the rest of the day watching the men flirting with the woman trying to blink back the tears. Sharon refused to show the tears to anyone and give them the satisfaction of knowing that the strong woman in front of them was an illusion to cover the weakness inside._  
_


	7. Chapter 7

Being the bad guy

*inspired by Yantzi's If You Feel Better video

It hurt being the bad guy all the time. Sometimes it felt like Sharon had spent most of the past three years saving Chief Johnson and her team from the world. When Brenda quit and went to work for D.A's office Sharon thought that she would finally get some peace at work but that illusion didn't last long. Pope had decided to offer her the job of head of major crimes and Sharon felt that she needed to keep the division together for Brenda. Not that she owed it to Brenda seeing how many times Sharon had kept Brenda out of trouble. But as soon as Raydor showed up to the crime scene she knew that things were about to get worse. She could only imagine how the team would take the Wicked Witch getting Chief Johnson's job. No doubt it would make them feel better about Johnson's departure if they could focus more on how evil she was. As long as they would still work Raydor was prepared to be the monster that they needed in order to function. Maybe eventually they would see that she had done everything that she could for Brenda and that she would do everything she could for them as well.


	8. Chapter 8

Too much for her

The case that day had finally solved the case that they had been working on for the past three days. It wasn't even one o'clock yet and the major crimes squad had already gotten a deal out of the suspect for the murder of a fellow gang member. But for some reason Sharon couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong that she should know about. Not that she really had much time to worry about the feeling seeing as how she had spent the last half hour being a mediator between the members of the squad. Everyone seemed to be fighting over the least important things and Sharon took a moment to be grateful that Rusty wasn't due here for another three hours.

Just then Hobbes came around the corner and saw Sharon watching the team argue. She stood next to Raydor for a moment but then Hobbes turned to her. She asked if Rusty was enjoying only having a half day at school today. Sharon looked at Hobbs blankly and asked what she was talking about since Rusty was at school. But Hobbs shook her head and told Sharon that she had heard about the school closing early on the radio so Rusty should have come to the building by now. And with that Hobbs wandered off leaving Sharon behind. Sharon finally knew what was bothering her.

After two hours of trying to get Rusty on his cell phone Sharon was ready to start panicking. The team had noticed that something was wrong soon after Hobbs left so currently everyone was making calls trying to find Rusty. Sharon decided to try his cell phone again but just like the last twenty calls Rusty didn't answer. She was starting to feel very woozy for some reason so Sharon sat down and closed her eyes for a moment. That moment must have lasted for longer than she meant it to because the next thing that Sharon heard was Provenza yelling at Rusty. Sharon opened her eyes and looked at Rusty, who was standing in the doorway. She was so relieved to see him that she ran over to him.

But the relief lasted for only a second before Sharon started asking where Rusty had been all day and why he had not answered the phone. Rusty explained that he had spent the day at his friend's house and he just hadn't thought to call or answer the phone when it rang because he was having so much fun. The entire team stared at Rusty in shock but Sharon couldn't seem to hear anyone anymore as her world went black.

When Sharon finally woke up she was lying in a hospital bed while hooked up to an I.V. Rusty sat next to her bed while Provenza stood next to the window. After glaring at Rusty Provenza told Raydor that she had passed out in the murder room so the team brought her to the hospital. The doctor had told them that she had passed out from being so tired, stressed, and she hadn't been keeping her health up. Rusty looked up as Provenza said this and started to apologize for not calling and for making Sharon worry but Raydor didn't want to hear it today. She told Rusty that he was grounded for the next month and that he was not going to be going to any friends houses again anytime soon. Rusty knew that he was in the wrong so he accepted his punishment and promised Sharon that he would never make her worry like that again.

As Rusty and Provenza left Sharon thought about the day. She knew that she was going to have problems explaining what happened at work today but Sharon decided that for today she just needed to rest.


	9. Chapter 9

Dressing for the night

"So why do you feel the need to help me pick out my dress for the policeman's ball?" Raydor asked again while Rusty searched through her closet.

"Because you have to look nice for this dance. You can't just go in a dress that doesn't make you look good". Rusty answered. Then he realized what he said. "Not that you wouldn't look nice in any dress you choose but tonight is special".

When Sharon gave him an odd look Rusty explained what he meant. "This is your first ball as head of Major Crimes. Besides, I'm sure Provenza would like this dress." Rusty held up a dark red dress for Sharon to inspect.

"Provenza? Why would I care what he likes?" Sharon asked, taking the dress and heading towards the door.

"You can pretend all you want but I know you want to impress him." This stopped Sharon in her tracks but Rusty ran past her and went into the kitchen.

When Sharon finally came out of her room (in the red dress) Rusty was holding her purse.

"Come on Sharon. We're going to be late for the ball."

Sharon shook her head and marveled at how observant Rusty could be. She just hoped no one else would notice that she was looking for a reaction from Provenza.


End file.
